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The Book of Kenny's 'Stache
The Book of Kenny's 'Stache was translated from ancient Kennglish by Elite Disciple Dark. This book has been completely translated. Introduction Kenny's 'Stache is what created all of life itself. During a time in his life fuck it when Kenny was born he was born with an amazing 'stache so powerful that when coming out of the womb it killed his mother. The 'stacheless doctor's wondered why Kenny was born with a 'stache but was soon killed as infant Kenny could not control his godly 'stache powers. Only his father whose name is Kenny's Dad (got lazy) who had a 'stache was the only one who did not suffer a gruesome death and helped Kenny partially control his god powers at birth. The Book of Kenny's 'Stache: Chapter 1 I didn't realize my godlike mustache powers until I was near death with that dumbass named Ben, you know? Remember him killed my wife and son because of a stupid fucking deal he made with BANDITS! Anyways while staying behind with that shit-for-brains and fighting off some of those walkers my mustache formed a bubble and made me land on a roof, and some people with mustaches told me I had the god 'stache. My whole life my father raised me and didn't tell me shit about my godlike mustache powers since he's an asshole, but during school I was the only kid with a mustache and during fights I would get my ass kicked but my mustache would save me and obliterate the latter but I was a kid and I didn't know shit. I just thought he exploded because he was a faggot. My 'stache has saved me numerous amount of times so many times that you'll have to wait for a Part 2 for me to explain all the shit my 'stache has done for me. The Book of Kenny's 'Stache: Chapter 2 During my teenhood of course I still had my stache which i planned to never get rid of because I looked so damn sexy with it, I got into a couple of fights but at the time I didn't realize how much my stache increased my strength and let me kick the shit out of my opponents when I was on the verge of losing. By the time I graduated I ended up sabotaging the car dealer with my stache of course still unknown to me that I can do this shit, and I got my awesome fuckin' pick-up but it turned how to be a piece of shit by the time I was married. I'm still not sure if my sexy stache had lured Kat in but honestly I really don't give a fuck, I still loved her. My stache also hypnotized the guy who was selling us a sexy house for only fifty cents, fuckin love my stache but i just thought the guy was a dumbass and sucked at selling houses but who gives a shit? In the end my stache did so much shit to me and i did not feel like explaining but at least my stache made my wish come true; shooting that stupid shit named Ben right in the fuckin' face!